I'm 22 years old!

Actual photo of me from today.

It seems like just last week I was shitting my pants, throwing toys around and shouting for my mother to feed me. But what actually happened two weeks ago is irrelevant, because I'm a changed man now. I've moved on from my old ways and I'm looking to move onto more enriching prospects. I am 22 years old.

So what exactly is the plan then? I hope to work hard on my journalism career this year. I'll be moving away from freelance writing and into something a bit more stable and permanent. I'll also be strengthening my social connections with people I know from the internet. There are a lot of journalists, media and tech people that have been lovely to me over Twitter, Reddit and YouTube - so it'd be great to actually meet them and hang out. We shall have to see what 2017 brings.

What would a birthday post be without some advice? Here are a few pieces of advice that helped me through these twenty-two years, for you young'uns out there:

The sooner you procrastinate, the more time you'll have to get the task done.
Want a cool nickname? Carry a pineapple with you at all times. You'll soon be known as The Pineapple Guy.
If you have a stutter, refrain from saying the word 'ghost'. Otherwise people might think there is one behind them.
If you go on a date with a woman and she invites you in for coffee, don't do it. Having caffeine that late will ruin your sleeping pattern.
Using two condoms will provide twice the protection.
The most effective way to enjoy Justin Bieber's music is to turn the volume to 0.
If you're checking someone's ID, and you're not sure if it's fake, simply cut it up in front of them. The more upset they are, the more likely it was fake.
Be born into a wealthy and loving family to have an easier life.