21 Jan 2017

I'm 22 years old!

Actual photo of me from today.
It seems like just last week I was shitting my pants, throwing toys around and shouting for my mother to feed me. But what actually happened two weeks ago is irrelevant, because I'm a changed man now. I've moved on from my old ways and I'm looking to move onto more enriching prospects. I am 22 years old.

So what exactly is the plan then? I hope to work hard on my journalism career this year. I'll be moving away from freelance writing and into something a bit more stable and permanent. I'll also be strengthening my social connections with people I know from the internet. There are a lot of journalists, media and tech people that have been lovely to me over Twitter, Reddit and YouTube - so it'd be great to actually meet them and hang out. We shall have to see what 2017 brings.

What would a birthday post be without some advice? Here are a few pieces of advice that helped me through these twenty-two years, for you young'uns out there:


  • The sooner you procrastinate, the more time you'll have to get the task done.
  • Want a cool nickname? Carry a pineapple with you at all times. You'll soon be known as The Pineapple Guy.
  • If you have a stutter, refrain from saying the word 'ghost'. Otherwise people might think there is one behind them.
  • If you go on a date with a woman and she invites you in for coffee, don't do it. Having caffeine that late will ruin your sleeping pattern.
  • Using two condoms will provide twice the protection.
  • The most effective way to enjoy Justin Bieber's music is to turn the volume to 0.
  • If you're checking someone's ID, and you're not sure if it's fake, simply cut it up in front of them. The more upset they are, the more likely it was fake.
  • Be born into a wealthy and loving family to have an easier life.
Honestly your life might just be as great as mine if you follow each and every one of these. Have a good weekend!

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