20 Dec 2016

The Best Christmas Movies


Merry christmas! A time of joy, charity and having listen to your racist relatives tell you why Britain needs to prosper again. In case you need a break from the gluttonous Michael Buble-loving zealots, you may want to slip out and quietly put on a seasonal movie for comfort. In any case, here's my list of the best films to watch at this time of year.

The best one to begin with is obviously Die Hard. Because of course, it's not Christmas until I see Hans Gruber fall from the roof of Nakatomi Plaza. And look 'ere, you twats. Die Hard is absolutely a Christmas film. You're wrong if you disagree. After watching John McClane bake a few bad-guy mince pies, you may want to retreat to somewhere more magical, seasonal and homely. By this I wholly recommend A Christmas Carol, adapted from the novel by Charles Dickens. There are a lot of different versions but the two I've always liked are the 1999 television movie starring Patrick Stewart, and the Muppets version. Both are great in their own regard. I also really like Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas, which is probably his best work and thankfully does not feature Johnny Depp.


A lot of people tell me how great Elf and The Grinch are, and I'm here to tell them they're wrong. Will Ferrell and Jim Carrey do not appeal to me as comedy actors. In fact, I love Jim Carrey's serious movies, such as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Truman Show, but he's so goofy in Ace Ventura and Dumb and Dumber that the comedy is sort-of lost on me. So I like to avoid both Elf and The Grinch, although the 1966 animated version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is a good substitute.

If you're after a Christmas film that capitalises on the family/communal aspect of the holiday, you may want to check out Love Actually, Christmas Vacation, and Home Alone - which all feature strong iterations of these themes as well as telling entertaining and somewhat funny stories. The best film of this subgenre though, has to be It's a Wonderful Life, which I make sure to watch every Christmas Eve. George Bailey is one of my favourite characters in movies and the film's rollercoaster of a climax somehow puts me into a bigger seasonal mood than anything else ever could. Hot dog!

That's my guide to the best films to watch at this time of year. Make sure to watch a few, eat a lot of mince pies and keep your ears peeled for that big red fat fucker that'll be unloading his sack come Christmas Eve. Have a great holiday!

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